What do you think before you decide to go watch a movie that is based on a board game?
Thought 1: I don’t have a good feeling about this…
Thought 2: I wish I had better things to do this weekend..
What do you think after your get out of the movie hall after watching Battleship?
Thought 1: Well.. I deserved that..
Thought 2: I wish I had better things to do this weekend..
Battleship is one of those movies where your expectation levels before the movie is inversely proportional to how good you’ll feel about it after you’ve watched it. IMDB’s description about the movie is far more interesting than the actual movie.
IMDB says –
“A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. “
We say –
“A bunch of hot-shot Navy guys (and 1 girl) fight highly sophisticated alien ships using an outdated, converted-into-a-museum battleship. All this with loud music constantly blaring in the background and everyone (except Liam Neeson) trying extremely hard to act.”
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... hi there... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."
It is painful every time Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) comes on the camera to do anything other than run, scream or look good. Similar is the situation with almost every character in the movie. Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane is a force as usual, but it is sad that he doesn’t have any worthwhile screen time. Rihanna as Raikes is cute running around with a bunch of guys and manages to stay clear of the “irritating bimbo who’s not needed in the movie” tag.
"Hey.. that was my line.."
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....."
Another low with the movie is its pace. For what is supposed to be a adrenaline pumped action movie, this one is distressingly slow. Absolutely nothing interesting or exciting happens in the first 30 or so minutes of the movie (I mean there’s not even a needless scene of semi-nudity). And when the alien ship finally crashes into Hong Kong, everyone in the audience heave a collective sigh of relief – “Finally.. we thought you’d never come”. The almost 2 hours of its running time, could very well have been cut to 1:15 – 1:30 and no one would have noticed. Not even the actors.
The action is bearable. Without getting into too many spoilers, the scene where the Japanese captain uses tsunami buoys to seek out the alien ship is a charming reminder of the original board/video game. The action sequences with the aliens are decent. But again, like with most mindless action movies, the director goes a little overboard (ignore the pun) with some scenes like when they manage to drift a huge battleship like it was an old Honda Civic. But all in all, the action scores a few (and the only) positives, for the movie.
Dig up the movie on a lazy Friday night when your girlfriend/wife is out of town and you have a bunch of guys over for an alcohol fest. The high will make the movie interesting for all of you and the hangover will ensure you forget the movie the next morning. Win-win.
Rating: 4.5/10
Baroda Talkies 